The Last One Standing

I've attempted to write this particular post several times. In fact, I wrote it, posted it and deleted it.

For some reason, I know what I want to say, but how to say it keeps escaping my fingertips.

A lot of life is about preparing. The first few years of our life our parents prepare us with the necessary skills so we can go to school. First there is potty training and weaning. Then social skills. We learn how to play with other children. Once we get to school we learn things which is really just that teacher preparing us for the next grade we'll move to. On it goes. Kindergarten, grade school, middle school (or junior high when I was in school), high school. From there some stop with formal education. Some go to a trade school, others to a community college, others to a four year school.

All of that is to prepare us for the real world. We're also still learning about how to interact with others and play nicely, or not. We're probably learning what we want in a mate. We're learning if we want children or not. But each step is preparing us for the next phase of our life.

One thing I've never heard anyone discuss or state they spent all their life preparing to be the last one standing.

Louise Eunice Knight Dietz was one such person. I doubt if she prepared for it. One day it just happened. Richard Lee Knight was also thrown into the roll of the last one standing. So was Leo Eugene Birdsell. Unless there is a disaster that takes a whole family at one time, or unless one is an only child, each generation has the last one standing.

What is the last one standing? It's pretty obvious. It's the last one out of your parents, you and your siblings. It's the last one left. No longer is there anyone left who lived in the same household as you when you were a child.

How can one prepare for such a thing? On one level, you can't. I doubt if any of those who were the last ones left ever thought about it until the day when they were the only one left.

Sure, they had their children, their cousins, other family. But they're the last of that generation that are a direct descendant of their parents. Some will even be the last of that generation who are direct descendants of their grandparents. And some the last of that generation of their great grandparents.

Wait, we're not even close to that stage yet. Right? Most of us aren't. In my family, my parents are gone, I have all my siblings. I have one living blood line uncle. The day is rapidly approaching when he will join his parents and brother and sister. That leaves my siblings, myself, and my uncles two sons as the senior generation of the direct descendants of our shared grandparents. It's a very sobering thought.  Especially since my siblings, myself and our four living cousins on our mother's side of the family are the senior generation of direct descendants for that set of grandparents.

The worst part isn't that it reminds us of our own mortality. The worst part is all those wonderful people and their personalities, memories and history are gone, too.

But they don't have to be. Even if you've lived a busy life and forgot to include immediate and extended family. You can always stop and start including all those people still living into your life. It really is that simple. You might have one or two who wonder what you're up to, but for the most part, they'll welcome you back with open arms. That's what family does.

Do you miss Uncle Paul and Aunt Ethel? Do you wish you could hear more about them and their life? Well, since you can't talk to them, you can talk to their children. Or their grandchildren.

Is there anyone left of the generation before you of your grandparents direct descendants? If so, get to know them if you don't. If not, get to know their children. Then go up to your great grandparents. How many of their direct descendants are still living? You'll be amazed at all the relatives you find. Plus even some that are a more senior generation than you are.

The great thing about family, you can keep going back a generation to the common relative, the next one being all of your great, great grandparents and all of their direct descendants. You'll find so many relatives that you never dreamed that you had. You'll hear family stories about people that will amaze you. You'll forget that you're the senior generation of your parents direct descendants.

And then if the day arrives and you are the last one standing, you won't feel alone. Because you've embraced all of your extended family. You won't be the only one that is the last one standing. You'll realize that your fourth cousin Herbert is also the last one standing and so is cousin Mary, and even cousin Lou and cousin Connie. With that many who are interacting with you, you won't feel like the last one standing. Because you aren't. You have all this wonderful family surrounding you.

Even if you aren't the last one standing, finding and developing relationships with those distant cousins, either distant through lineage or through space, will mean that when you go there are that many more people who will share memories about you. When it's all over, that's all we can really leave behind. The memories of us that others carry in their hearts and share with their loved ones.

Your assignment is to contact a relative that you typically don't stay in touch with. Reopen that branch of your family tree.

Disclaimer: I'm not doing genealogy because I think I'll be the last one standing. If I am the last one standing my siblings will be pissed since I'm the only smoker out of all of us. :-)