What if?

I was asked the other day what I'd do if I learned something negative about one of my ancestors.

Let's stop and think about this for a few seconds. One of the trees that I'm working on, where I combine all the branches, so to speak, has almost 3,000 individuals in it. While that sounds like a lot of people to the novice, I've seen ancestry trees that have 15,000-20,000 plus individuals.

When we're talking about thousands of people of course you're going to find some negatives. I live in a town of about 400 individuals. The town and the people are good people. Yet I can find something that might be considered negative in almost every family. As a whole, the positive that each person or family brings to our community outweighs the negative. What do we, as a community, do about it? Nothing. What good does it do to dwell on mistakes people may have made.

So what should one do about the negative they might find on an ancestor? The first thing you have to think about long and hard, can you prove this is your ancestor? If you can't, then set it aside. As one genealogist said once, set it on the back burner of a cold stove.

What if you can prove beyond a doubt that your great uncle rode with Jesse James while he was in Minnesota? What does that information add to your tree? Yes, it says something about the personality of your great uncle at one point in his life. What did he do with the rest of his life? Was he always a little bit shady? Then it probably won't hurt adding that documentation to your tree. What if your great uncle spent the rest of his life in a new community, hiding the bad choice he made and worked hard to help others? Maybe he went on to become a doctor and had a stellar reputation in his new community.

In that situation, you have a tough choice to make. If you can prove the man with the same name as your great uncle was first an outlaw then a doctor, you'll have to decide if it's worth revealing his sordid past. Yes, your great uncle is long gone, but his descendants aren't. Remember, you're not his only descendant.

Now might be the time to call Aunt Mary and tell her what you discovered. After all, Aunt Mary is living in the same community and even the same house where your great uncle saved lives. Chances are Aunt Mary already knew about his past.

Or share it with a few trusted family members to determine if that is information that needs to be shared.

Each negative discovery will have to be handled differently.

Each one of us has things in our ancestry that we're not sure we like having there. Each family has had at least one scandal in their family. What each of us has to determine, is reliving the scandal, researching to bring it to life worth all the time it will take?

You can spend time hunting for scandals or you can spend time hunting for lost relatives. Each of us has to decide how we spend our time. Personally, I'd rather find lost siblings of those ancestors I know existed.

Part of this goes back to the post about trust. The trust our ancestors had for each other and for us.

I trust my descendants to treat my life with respect. Goodness, I've given them enough mistakes in my life for them to focus on scandals, but I trust them, if they come searching for me to focus on the good, but acknowledge the mistakes.

So, if you must, call the paper and tell them your big news, your great uncle, the Doctor Herbert Blake rode with Jesse James while they were in Minnesota. You'll have your 15 minutes of fame, but at what cost to the highly respectable and upstanding late Dr. Herbert Blake? And will Aunt Mary ever speak to you again?