Our multiple greats

Typically, we find out who our multiple great grandparents were by finding our multiple great grandfather first. Sometimes all we ever learn about his wife is her first name. If we're lucky we'll find a marriage record that gives us her maiden name.

But a lot of them will go through our lifetimes as Mary UNKNOWN. Or whatever given name you happen to find, but the last name is more often than not UKNOWN.

The first US Census was in 1790. From 1790 thru 1840 the only members of the household listed was the head of the household. Meaning since Mary UNKNOWN married Martin BIRDSELL all we know about her is just that. If we're lucky and she lived long enough to be enumerated in the 1850 census we should have an approximate birth year and state or country of birth.

In this case, Mary UNKNOWN was enumerated in the 1850 census. That's how we know her given name was Mary. The other bits of information we learn from this one census, someone, probably her husband Martin, told the census taker that Mary was 76 years old on her last birthday and she was born in Connecticut.

A note here: it doesn't matter if you feel it's right or wrong, but women were secondary citizens during this time frame. Any rights they had were given to them by their husband. Even if the husband gave them every right we're used to having today, most of those would not have held up in a court of law. If you spend your time lamenting about how unfair that was, then you probably need to give up genealogy and study history. The goal of the genealogist is not to change history, but to preserve our own family histories.

If you still can't let go of how unfair women had it, just remember, during this time in our history, the men in our family not only believed it was their duty to protect their women and children, they physically had to do so at so many levels. The expectations placed on the man of the household was far greater than it is today.

What this means in regards to the documents we have to work with while tracing our family during this period of time, the men left a lot more documents for us to find than the women left. Not only that, on the 22nd day of August, 1850 when the Martin Berdsell household was enumerated in Harmar, Washington County, Ohio, it was probably Martin who gave the family information. He was the head of the household and if he was present he was who the census taker spoke with.

That doesn't mean Mary had to sit closed mouth. Since we don't know anything about Martin and Mary's personalities, we can't know for sure if as Martin gave the information pertaining to Mary if he didn't glance at her and watch her nod that he'd gotten her facts correct. The one thing we do know about Martin, he could not read or write. Therefore, even if there were a family Bible with all this information in it, it wasn't something he read on a regular basis since he couldn't read.

We have no documentation letting us know if Mary could read or write. All we know about Mary is that on that date in 1850 it was told that she was 76 years old. That same date in history, someone told the census taker that Martin was 89 years old and born in New York state.

This tiny bit of information we have pertaining to Mary UNKNOWN is great information to have. Yet, knowing what I know, that as we go back in time, the only Mary I'll ever find in a census prior to 1850 will only be listed as such if she's a head of a household. Typically, the female heads of households in those days were widows and from my experience at least 50% of them will be listed as Widow SURNAME.

While it's not impossible to find more on Mary UKNOWN Birdsell, it's unlikely.

Since Mary UNKNOWN disappears after the 1850 census, there's a fairly high probability that if we happen to find a death or burial record it won't shed any additional information. One can assume that she died sometime after 22 August 1850 and before 1 August 1860 when the next census was enumerated since she is not listed on the 1860 census. Martin is in that census, living with his son Abram in Windsor Twp, Morgan County, Ohio, USA.

Sadly, we can only assume that Mary UNKNOWN is actually our great, great, great, great grandmother. To date I haven't located a marriage record for her and Martin. She's in an age group that she could be Abram's mother, but without some record of her marriage to Martin, we really don't know if she was Martin's first and only wife, or a second wife. Even with a marriage record we probably wouldn't know that for sure, but at least we'd know for sure if she were Abram's mother.

If everything on a census is accurate, we would  know that she wasn't Abram's mother according to the 1880 census where the respondents are asked to list the birth state or country of their mother and father. In 1880, Abram states is mother and father were both born in New York state.

By following the known siblings of Abram we can gather more information on the later census. In 1880 one of Abram's brothers states his parents were both born in New York state.

No, that doesn't solve the problem. It doesn't rule Mary UNKNOWN out as their mother. But, they both said that their mother was born in New York and it says in 1850 that Mary was born in Connecticut. As a matter of fact, it does state that.

Except in 1900 this same brother states that his father, Martin, was born in Massachusetts and there's no indication anywhere that Martin was born in Massachusetts except this one entry made by an 80ish year old man who would only live another 14 months and 20 or 21 days. What was his mental health like during this census? We have no way of knowing for sure.

Abram's other brother either disappeared completely after the 1850 census or if he didn't disappear leaves a trail of someone who had memory problems for a few decades prior to his death. That death record does list a history of dementia. Because the 1870 and 1880 census of this possible trail the other brother might have left means this man didn't even remember where he was born.

Also, the one brother who died in 1901 was born in Ohio. Since there is no record of Martin marrying anyone in Ohio, I suspect he brought Mary with him from the last state where they lived. Everything points to Mary being this brother's mother.

Even if Mary UNKNOWN didn't give birth to the two brothers who were born in New York, she raised them. Therefore, I'm giving her the benefit of assuming she is the mother of all of Martin's children starting with Abram and those born after him. If I find any record that disproves this, I will accept that I'm wrong.

Also, another thing to remember while piecing all this information together. Mary UNKNOWN was born around 1773-1775 according to the 1850 census. We also have to remember throughout the history of the USA state lines did change. For example, there's an area around Quaker Hill, Dutchess County, New York, USA that was disputed between New York and Connecticut as to which state it was actually in. Was Mary born in one such location? A chunk of land that at one time was Connecticut and later became New York or vice versa? If so, which state was she born in?

Also, it's reasonable to suspect that Mary and Martin lived fairly close to each other geographically prior to their marriage. One thing we can state with fact, they didn't do any Internet dating.

One thing any genealogist learns very early in this pursuit of family, the things that our ancestors had to report on a census from memory is not as reliable as the other information they reported. And the older an ancestor lived, the less reliable the memory information is.

That's one sad aspect of genealogy. First you realize they actually lived. Then as you follow them, you realize their information isn't as reliable and their minds aren't as sharp as they were in earlier censuses.

Which brings me to my great, great, great grandmother, Margaret CAROLLE Birdsell. I have a copy of her marriage record to Abram Birdsell on 4 Dec 1828. In the 1830 census for Abram there was a white female around Abram's age in his household and a young white female. The next record we have is the 1840 census. Mercy, Abram and Margaret lived a lot during the last ten years. Now they have five children. Two boys and three girls. Each of the boys is in the right age group for William and his brother, John. Two of the girls are in the right age group for the two sisters of William's that we can put names with from the 1850 censuses, Letetia and Jane. The other girl either died between 1840 and 1850 or married. She's in an age group that either is very possible. The female child from the 1830 census either died or her age is wrong on the 1840 census. Again, either is very possible. If it's a case where the one that was in the 1830 census is listed younger in the 1840 census then it's even a higher probably that this child was married by the time the 1850 census arrived.

However, after going through the marriage records for Ohio during that time frame, I don't remember any female Birdsell that might have been her. Still, I'm not ready to bury her yet. Because I haven't found any evidence of a death or burial record either.

Margaret died in 1842 so during her short life she was never listed by name in any census she was in. Other than a marriage record to Abram and a grave in Delong Cemetery, Waterford Twp, Washington County, Ohio, USA, Margaret lived her life with leaving only one document that I've found that proves she ever lived. She did leave children that proved she lived though. But proving those children were her's and Abram's requires that precious marriage record and those few census records that exist during her marriage to Abram.

When I found that marriage record it was as if I could hear Margaret sigh in relief. Finally, someone else had found that record. Someone else? You mean someone found it before I did? Of course. I have no idea how many had, but I know my mother found it, too. I found it in her records a couple months after I'd found my own copy of it. But when Mom found it, she didn't have the internet to broadcast to people that she had the proof that Margaret married Abram.

It was like Margaret knew that I'm stubborn enough to plaster the internet with proof that she gave her pledge to Abram, not his brother.

One document and one grave are all that's left of the proof that specifically names her.

Which is a great lead in for tomorrow's blog. Trust. Another one of William and Mariah's descendants wrote this as an email to me. I thought it would make a great guest blog post.

Her post explains why we're doing what we do.

It will explain why I'm adement to see to it that the documents proving Margaret's very short life are presented accurately.

In the meantime, think about what you know about your multiple greats.