Damn kids

Long ago, I had a wonderful friend named John Flick. We met online through a group that was made up of automotive mechanics. Most of these guys and gals specialized in the repair and rebuilding of transmissions. The darlings of every vehicle to this special group.

When a group as talented as this group gets together, several things happen. Each and everyone was/is opinionated. And a bond and friendship formed that none of us ever dreamed possible. To the point that we're almost like family at times. Bickering, standing up for one another, knocking each other down, wondering whose turn it is to keep Fred locked in the attic because no sane family would let him out in public. We laugh together and we cry together. We fight and keep coming back, because we have this fabulous history together. And deep down, we do care about each other.

John was extra special to me though. When I was down, he knew it and he'd send me a private email. And the emails would fly back and forth and before I knew what had happened, I was laughing out loud.

At the same time I was doing a lot of writing. An excessive amount of writing. I wanted to save the world. Sigh. So I started a blog. A fabulous, funky blog that ended up being extremely political. Oops. My biggest fan was John. When I wouldn't post, I'd get an email from him. Where's your entry? I read you every morning with my coffee.

That's how the name came to be. Morning Coffee with John.

Then the unthinkable happened. One day, and I don't remember if it was the winter of 2003 or 2004. I thought I'd never forget the date, but I have, we learned that John had passed away. To honor him I tried to keep the blog going...but without John there reading it, I'd lost my heart for it. For me, it had lost its purpose and soul.

I tucked the blog away, knowing deep down that I'd never revive it.

A few months ago, I did consider doing another blog since my life had gone in a different direction. Instead of wanting to save the world through my words, I went back to the medical field a few years ago and am now doing my part, one pee at a time. (Other med techs will get that comment.) A little over a year ago, I bought a neat new camera that I still haven't learned how to use. Why not do a blog about my travels and attempt to take pictures?

Great idea. But I kept putting it off.

Then today, one of our own, from that group where John and I got so close, lost his wife. As I pulled into my parking spot at the motel where I'm staying on this assignment a great big wave of grief hit me. There was this huge pain as I fought the tears. Where did that come from. Staring me in my mind was the day I learned John had died. The grief was as real as it was that day.

I've spent the last few hours listening. The end result is the revival of this. And as I typed that last part I can almost hear him smile and mutter under his breath, "Damn kids."

Rest in peace, Deb.

Good morning, John. Hope your cup of coffee is hot.